Tag: anything sad

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🔪💔

On By VineluIn Sadness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Yeah, ok. But what about the physical pain that comes with heartbreak?

The feeling of being chocked to death when you’re just trying to catch a breath

The little stabbing with an ice pick kind of wounds. You can’t see the bleeding but you can feel the actual pain

The one that feels like your entire body is in pain like being thrown into walls. I call that “the Hulk smash”

The constant feeling of nausea

The shrinkage. Yeah, the one that feels exactly like something holding the heart and squashing it

Headache. If you don’t have one you will give yourself one as a result of hours and hours of crying hysterically

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“I’ve dug two graves for us, my dear” – X

On By VineluIn Sadness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I felt for a long time that I built you and you threw it all away. For a lie. I really thought that I made you who you are and then simply passed you on to another.

That got me thinking somehow that any other woman would treat you like a brand new project. Start from scratch!

What an infinite hell it must be to press the reset button every time you enter a new relationship. I should know.

That all must come from being right with the wrong people, for you anyhow. Being in shit ass complacent immature over romanticised relationships forged in the brightest of fires meant to burn out fast.

I find myself resentful writing this.

Guilty
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Overthinker

On By VineluIn SadnessLeave a comment

I do ask for help, from myself first. If one would be interested in something I excel at it would be overthinking.

overthinker

Noun

(plural overthinkers)

1. One who overthinks.

Origin

overthink +‎ -er

Hope this helps. 

  • “If you feel depressed reach out for help”

Humor is also one of my traits.

Why do I not see the endgame everyone seems to see? Why does everything that used to make me feel happy, is failing me now? Why am I not complete? Why am I not grateful for having so much more than others? Why do I have goals impossible to achieve? I actually do know the answer to this one. One of my great life philosophies is that you need to strike for gold in order to be content with silver as opposed to drilling for coal. I then moved on to ask others for help. This is when life becomes an English joke because no one understands. Literally. No one. Not even people that go through the same stuff as you because they have their pain and their train of thoughts. Not family, because you are just acting up on account of being spoiled. The kids in Africa don’t have water. Not friends, because they know that something is off with you, but instead, just like most people, they chose to see the fun in you (if you have any). Not a girlfriend/boyfriend because they tried to be patient and supportive, but you are just too high maintenance and it’s grown to be more pain than pleasure. As things start feeling a little more intense you begin to feel scared for/of yourself and move on to more advanced help also known as 24 h suicide prevention hotline. In the 5 minutes I spent browsing their website I have found that they are in desperate need of donations, statistics are showing that the female suicide rate is ridiculously higher than male and that they are looking for volunteers. This little sorrowful adventure only made me realize how truly sad we all are and I came to think that maybe, whatever I am going through is not even that serious and it will probably pass while others definitely need that help. No one wants to be bothered with childish ways, right? In one of these rainy days when your self-destructive plan is coming slowly but surely to fruition you are thinking that maybe you need professional help. Doctors that will prescribe pills that in all reality one would probably use to make the job easier which scares me even more. I am even terrified of getting drunk because I know how it gives me the courage I need to do stupid things and it just might be one of them. “If you feel depressed reach out for help”. I find the irony humoristic to say the least.